A Day in the Life of Arthur Kirkland
by sarang-archer
Summary: If one listens closely to the sounds in the Kirkland household, they could hear the sinister laughter of a certain magical Englishman... Oneshot of Hetalia and a Gravity Falls AU. Cover art is by yours truly! No bad language, but a demon summoning. NO SHIP, much zalgo/warped text (look up eeemo(.)net), courtesy of Alcor the Dreambender. COMPLETE ONESHOT.


((A/N: Forgive me in advance, there is a LOT of warped text ahead! I got carried away...))

* * *

"Haha..."

Scritches of pure white chalk on the basement floor.

"Finally..."

A spell book turned to a page and weighted in place with a stone. A drop of blood is spilled.

"People don't seem to respect me ever since my Empire fell..."

The spell book's page wavers with a wind that should not be in the room.

"Now I can finally get the respect I deserve!"

The candles' flames, precisely at every point on the star, flicker in time with the wind.

 _"_ _Splendidum stella, te invoco. Te invoco ut facere voluntatem meam. Dico nomen tuum: Alcor!"_

"A soft glow emanates from the summoning circle on the floor, followed by a rush of blue flame. Blue flames, but no burning heat. A plume of smoke billowed out, confined by the summoning circle, and formed a figure from the darkness. The figure became surprisingly human-esque, trimmed with a molten-gold brick pattern. It's eyes glowed the same piercing gold as it spoke.

"W̹̜͔͓̙̟͇ͫͪH̝̩̑ͤ͒ͥ̄͌͒Ȏ̬̞̳̝̖̿̍͂̅̀͒ͅ ̩̼͉̹̗̰̯̈́ͫ͗̒͌̓̆D͚͕̗̿ͩ͒̒̓͆Aͤ̌ͨ̌R̳̞̲̾Eͭ̓̾S ̰̜̳̬̙͐ͬ̋̓͌̂S̗͍̝͗Ṳ̘͕ͣͣM͗͆ͫ̄M̳̂̅ͪ͊͗͗͂O̦̘̮ͣN̺̞͖͒ͧ̐̀͒ ̭̟̼̟͍̮ͅA͚̹͕̻̺̭L͒̄̂C̯̩͎̗̄̊ͅO̟͍̘̥̯̊̑̾ͦͅR̘͇ͮ̽͌̑ͮ̐̄ ̰͙̖̏͑̆̇ͤ͆T̞ͭH͎͉ͅỄ̓̐̓ ͍͛̄̈́̀D̯̺̘̜Rͨ͆̉̇E̦̿͐͋̿̃̿A̙͔͔̦̣̠̒M͊BE͙̹͎̭̣̎́ͨ̓͛ͭͩͅN̪͉̭̠̬͎̜ͫ̓͂̀͂͐D͓̰̤̰̞̞ͫͤ͒ͥE͍̳̻̩̗̮ͭͧ̚R̖̝͓̆ͪ̏ͫ̚?̆̂͊͛̄̄"

The Bringer of Nightmares, the Demon of Memory, the Bender of Reality, is now right in front of his eyes.

Yet he wasn't afraid. Never was he, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, afraid of the supernatural. He grew up with it, how could he? As of right now, his trusted friend Flying Mint Bunny- hooked onto his right shoulder- gave him support and relieved him of any fear he had.

Y̅̅̑̆̑ͮ̑O̠̠̘͓͖̦ͣͬ͗ͤU̺͖͛ͬ̈ͭ̍ͩ.̲̲͍̏..͍̞͙̼̞ͅ ͮ̔̋̒̈́͗͒W̞̰͉ͬ̇ͫ͋͋͆ͬH̩̖̱̫̤͉̞A͙̻̲ͪṰ͉̖͍̖̯̝ͮ ̞̩̠̤͕͇͂̋͌̆̽ͮͦD̺̄̓ͬ̓̈ͫ̈O͕̒ ͙̔ͪ͒͑̈ͭ͐Yͥ̆͒ͬ͊̔ͮÔ̓͆̓̏̾U͓̦ͪͬ̃ͅ ̪ͩ̐̈́̌D̩͔̼̤̱̈̉ͨE̖̱̫̘̍ͬ̔͌̎̓̑S͖̲͇̑Ȉ̥̠̹͓ͤͪ̽R̼͚̰̐̇ͩE̗̙̻̻̦̱͆ͯ̓̌ͅ?̤̪͇͚͗ͪ̽̇̓

"...Ahem, yes. Almighty Alcor the All-Knowing, I would like to be able to regain some of the respect I used to have during the time of my Empire's reign. My friends, family- they treat me like an ordinary old man; in no way have they ever authoritized me, as far as I could tell. I would like that changed, even just a bit. That shouldn't be too difficult for a demon of your power, is it?"

Ooh, this was good. Alcor has been looking for another scapegoat for what he had go through lately- another cult had yes, sacrificed a child. Yes, no one survived.

He didn't expect this summons to be any different than his others; that thought changed when he saw the Englishman. It didn't show on his face, but Alcor was thoroughly shocked: had he even been told an embodiment of a whole COUNTRY was going to summon him, he still wouldn't believe it. He decided his almighty, all-knowing self would play along out of interest.

"W͉͑͑H̻̼̦̎ͧȦ̗̲̂͊̓̚T̟̖̝̗͎͖̥̽͊ͭ ͔͈̝́͊͛͗ͧD͓͉̜̞͊͆ͅO͎̩̠̓̏͑͌͐ ͇͕̱̩͇͈͈ͬ̄͂̊͛̌Yͩ̉͊̍O̠͕ͧͣ̉̂Ȕ̮ͫ̒ͬ̒ ̠̠̠ͤ̈́̽̀̆̅̏O͕̘̭̼̟̖̹ͨ͆F̩̙̖͉ͫ͗ͫ̓F̼̣̞̅E̲̞̒ͫ͆R̻̀ͧ͂̑̓͑̅ ͒̉͑̽Ḯ͓͙̯̩͓̌̓̅͛Ṇ̖̪̪͑̍ ̥̹̼̠ͨͫŘ͎̹̠̈́̒ͬ̀̒̉E͙͓̼̝͓̯̼ͮT̠͔̯͎̫͚̈́ͦ̓̐̒̚Ū͎̼̄ͫ̈́RͩͨͧṊ̜̣͍̪͛?̮

Alcor couldn't help but think he had probably done this a multitude of times before, seeing as the circle was impeccably drawn out, the candles were unscented and placed perfectly, and... even the right width and length? Well.

".̙͙͎̣̓ͣ̚ͅ.̺̐͋ͤ̉ͮ.͎ͥY͔̻ͫ͐ͮÒ̘̿͋͐̎Ù͉͓̗͎̝̈́̈ͣ ̾̀̽̈̎̔A̦̩̓̇̒R̮̞̃͛ͥE̠͓͎̟͓͚͉̔͌͋̍ͪͪ ͖̜̱̲́̂ͮ͒̚ͅS̱ͧ͋M̙̘̭̋ͭͧͮ̿ͅA̝͖͇͚̖̿̿ͦ̑Ř̖̰͓̲̼͎̿ͯ͂̉T,̯̲͖̆ͯ͊ͮͫͬ ̹̪͚̰͙͆ͬ̓̋̍ͫ̚ͅI̞̲̱̺̣̹͑̄̊̇̊ͮ̋'̝ͬ̄̽̊̄̚L̖̺͙̱̗͂ͩͥ̓L̯͎̮̻̗̎̇ ͕̠̦̱͇͖ͫG̻͙̯ͨ̒́̇̿̇I̗̊̿̔ͧ̊ͣ͛V͔̲̮̤ͫE͓͙͕͔͒̆ͧ ̭̜ͭͣͥ̂̆Y̥̗̜̠͇̖͂̋̃Ő͈̍̄͊Ü͔̟͈͚̘͛ͬͫ̐̊ ̜͓͔̪T͕̤̠ͨȞ̗͉A͍̰̱̲̭̲̦͛̏Tͨ.̜̀"

"Thank you kindly, Alcor. That means a lot for a veteran of his art."

Welp, answered that question. Alcor saw the man shift into a more comfortable stance, almost casual.

"As to answer your question, I can offer money, food- not so much any bloodshed besides my own to summon you here in the first place."

"H͔̤̯̗́̃̽MͣM̿ͯ.̦̞̥̮̓̒̎̈́̌.̭̱̥͎ͯͬ̒̌̓̓̿.̬͆̃͛ͬͧ̾ͅ ̣ͦ̐Ḅ͍̏Ÿ̘̰̳̘̼͎́̀͊ ͓̰̻̣͕̀ͭ̒͌̒Y̼̲̣̱͇͔̥̿ͫ̀̇ͬ̋O̤̺̓ͯ̌ͨṴ̤̟̰̫͎ͫ̅͋̌͌R̝̗̂̊̑ ͚͍̭͈̙ͩͭͩͯ͊̚L̙̮̪̱O̬̫͈̿ͫǴ͖̟̜̃̓̌̀̂ͤȊ̝̣͈̲̐̂̒ͪͫC͉͎̞̤,̰̖̯͎̩͔̫̄̈̆ͤͮ ̲B̹̱̬Ľ̜͖ͅÕ̦̟̭̂ͩ̋̊̈́O̠̘͐̉ͦ̓̇͑D̩̹̬̽ͪͯS̠̱H̲̪̖͕̭̦̞̐ͨ̏̒̈͆E̦̅̃ͪ̄̍̉D͇̺͉͎̮̪̋̎ ͛C̃͊̆̚Ọ̟̳͈͕̮̎U̱͔ͯL̞̲̠ͩ̃͌Dͤ͌ ̩B͕̳̤ͬ̆̋͐̾̃͌E̖͓̠͈̼ͤ̍ͫ̉ͨ̌ ̜̻̜͂̈́ͥͦ͌̈L͕͍͙̺͙͕͛̓́̎I̥͂͗͂T͓͖Ḙ̙͍̩̆̔͗̊RA̱͖̝̫L͖̗̦̣͚ͫ̆͆̏ͫ ̿̈O̤͙̫ͫͫͦR̤̰̎͛͆͊̔̃̿ ̺͔̭̱̻̜ͧ̆ͤS͍̪̖̦̞̝ͮ̿̉͂̾̽ͪO͕̪̝̳̘̺̥ͦ͋̑ͪU̫̮̭̻͒̿ͦͪ̎L̤̭̩͈̮̏͒ͦ͆ͭ̊.̭̩͚͕̮̯͉̀ͨ ̖̫͈̼̼̳ͭ͐̋ͭͪͅA̠̜̱͔͖̎͆̔M̩̩̯̼̣̪͊ ͓̼͕̍̿͒I̖͕̳ ̮͎̘̗͓͔͊ͮ͊ͬ̾̓̿C̬̪̩̮̯̤̘ͭ̉͋ͨ̔͛̚O̘̣͇̐ͬ̋̏̀͂̚R͖̜͎̹̼̋͋͑͊̒͗̒R͇̹̦͋̉Ẹ͍̯̰͙̟̯͌͋̇̍C͕͇͓͋͐̔ͧ̓͌ͭT̻̬͕̹͒͐?̩͖̌͐̍͛"

"That you are. If you are looking for blood, you shall find none here."

The Dreambender was getting bored. The gentleman in front of him was a very confusing blend of casual and formal- at this point, sitting on a nearby chair in a green uniform with his legs crossed, but talking as if it were to a deity. Alcor considered just blipping off and leaving the man, but that might make for some consequence even he didn't know.

"Â̘̣͎̦͎̎ͦ̓̆̚L̘͑̒ͫ̆̆̚L̠͙̥͙ͫ͂̄ ̝̐̅Ŕ͔̲ͅỊ͎͉̼͇͊̆̂͌͌̉̿Ḡ̥͚͚̰̮̦͎H̱̹͂͛̂ͧ̿̊ͤͅT̤͍̤͎̝̯̖̔ͪ̅̔ ̀T̞ͣ̽͌̀̇̈ͥH͚̬͊̎Eͪ̒͋̇̌ͯ̇N͗̿ͧ͋,͓̟͇̲̲͐͆ ̠̇̋D̘̯͓̟̭͒ͣ̍̌̽ͨ͂Ổ͍̤͕ͮ͗̐̾ ̪̰͙̃ͅW͎̩̳̳͈̱̦E̩̗̼̟͚̖̎͑̌̈̚ ̯͍̪͈̋ͬ̽Ȟ̱̘͊ͥ͗͋ͪẦ̲̟̣̙̹ͪV͙̣͎̼̜͎̮̄͗E͔͕̠̎̇͑͐ͬͩ ̩̙͆A͙̦͇̱͑̽͛̍͒͌ ̭ͯ̒D̤̻̮̝̠̏̇ͪE̦̥̗͉͈͓̼̅Á̙̮̼̅̂ͅL͉ͫ̍͐͌͆ͧ?̘̖̦͂͌

"... Almost. I'd like to know what you will take from me in addition to my earlier request."

"F̠̼̭̗̓̎ͫI͎̦̩̻͍͖ͬ͌̿̈ͫNͯ͂E͎͊.̝͖̽̉͆͊̐̒̚"

A flame-covered hand met a gloved one.

T͓̗̱͕͇̞̪̏H̲̜̦̭ͪͣE͉̮̞̳̐ͅ ̻͖̈̒͛ͯ̾D͎̪ͥ̾̍͛ͣ̚E̤͌̂̂ͦA̟̟͔̼͙̞̍̆L͕̬̦͈̝̟͊̌ ͈̳̰̍Ĩ̖̼̖̜̞͚̘͒̔̿̓̿S͎͈͔͕̦̯̈ ̟̜̰̪͎̮̐SͬE̼̙̳͙̺ͯͩ͂Ȧ͇̩̱̳͍͉̜̈́̑ͭLͣE̠͖̳͍͍̳͚ͩ̍ͯͯͣD̲̀̏.̯̥̞̝̗̯ͫͭͩͭ͗ͅ ͖̃̿̃ͪ̇ͨ̇ͅL̩̹͛̚E̮͐̋̚T̗̘͔̝͓̪ͭ̓ͫ̒ͅ'̳̹̌ͣS͆̓̃͛̈́͂ ̲̱̗̮̜̻̩̒̐̎̂̾Ș̰̼̭̽̄̐ͩË̦̱̈̌ͭͮ̓͂Ë̮̮̮́ͮͣͨͤ̍̚ ̿̎͛H͇͓̱̜͙ͮͥ͂̎E̪̙̰̤̻̓̈R̥͎̼̬̟̞̓ͨ͋͐̏ͧͨE͖͉̫ͦ̍̃̏ͣ͗̄.̘͇̩̰̩̱̍̒̌ͅ.̜̟̤̆̆.̙̦̦͑͌

The demon looked around at what could be seen in the dim basement, accidentally floating over his summoning circle. He didn't see the vague shock on his client's face.

̙͚̪͕̫͕̄̈́̾̔ͅ  
̜̘̯Ḫ͉͂̽̇ͩ̋ͭ̓O̝̠͓͙͖̽͊̂Ẉ̳̘̥̼̩͕ͨ̄ͣ ̭̥̈ͯ̚A̦͕̦ͩ̽̈́̈̔̽̋B̰͖͈̯̪̬̫ͤ̇̚O̪͎͈̱̳U̬Ț͈̫̺̟ͮ̽ͪ͗͛ ̿͋́ͫ̆͊ͮT̞̰̝̱͎Hͭ̓ͥ̀́ͧ͗Í͖͕̭̞̱̺ͯͩ͑͑̒͛S͈?͋͊

Alcor picked out an old book, ragged and obviously well-used, off a shelf close to him. He didn't recognize any of the books in the shelf from the Library back home, so this was a lucky find.

͓͎͈̮͇͙̰ͩͯ̈̉S̳͗U̟̠̠̠͖̔͊R̝̼̜̮͗ͦ̆̏̈́̚E̥̭̪̎̊ͅL͉̻ͩ̓̓̐͂ͣͩY̱ͨ̃ ̮͈͚͉̲̹ͥ͂̉̈́ͅỲ͙͍̖̤O̼̥̱̭͋̂U̪͇̫͉͓̖̮ͤ̅ ͈͉͚͐͑̓̎̊̒Cͤͤ͋̅Ō̝̆̽U̯̪͇̞̥̓ͦ̇̈L͗́̿͐D͇̬̱̞͗ͤ̈́̃͐̉ ͙̤̤̠̻͈͍S̟̬̟̲̖̎̈ͫ͗ͫ̓P͊̈́Ạ͍͗̒͑̍͐R͙̟͔͉ͪE͔ ͎ͪ̈̓̇͐̊A̫̭̮̔̂̈ͭ́ ͑͗S̪͙̰͔̯̝̣̒̃P̗͐́̈́E̜̘͔̯̦̙͆̅̄͆́Lͥ͌̒L̠̝̘̻̩̪ͮ̈́̑̓͑B͙̟̪͇̫͔̦ͨO͍̭͔͑̓͋̚O̥̲̲͈̱̥̓̑͗̑̓̽́ͅK̯̠̭ͬ̑̓ͤ ̅ͥ̌̽ͪ̑Ȏ͙̺̥̱̗͑R͛̔͐͑̐ ̱̘͙͕̝̿̒ͨ̾̓T͓͙̥W͖̫̳O̞̦̔̒̑ͩ͂?̣̦̲̱ͣ̿͛̊ͥ͒̚

Silence. Most likely from contemplation, judging from the country's face.

"...Of course."


End file.
